Toe-cock-ruh-see: Noun: rule by the poor, lower class; also, the poor as a class
From Greek: ptochos, poor or beggar, plus kratos, rule, strength, might
Related words: Ptochogony: the begetting or production of beggars (much the same as Conservative Fiscal Policy, then); Ptochology: the scientific study of pauperism, unemployment, etc.
In all fairness, we should mention that many of them have at least “done their bit.” For instance, every Earl of Derby between 1830 and 1948, and every Marquess of Salisbury in the twentieth century (bar one bad apple) sat as a member of the Cabinet, the last departing in 1997. Some have been notable sportsman too, by which we mean proper sport, the sort that involves your keeper or your valet handing you your freshly-reloaded Purdey so that you can blast a few more of those feathery perishers clean out of the skies. Take the Marquess of Ripon, for example, who employed much of his time between 1867 and 1923 in shooting half a million animals various to death, which is not something, we’re sure you’ll concede, that your average bricklayer or even a sprightly alderman can ever lay claim to. Tragically, however, such pursuits are not without their inherent risks, so it hasn’t all been one-way traffic and poor old Sir Edward Grey (as if being Foreign Secretary at the beginning of the First World War wasn’t enough on his shoulders) had one brother eaten by a lion and another killed by a wild buffalo while on safari in Africa. So that’s not so bad, then.
Which brings us nicely to Kakistocracy. No prizes for guessing. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like: government by the worst. Or by the stupid. Or by those least qualified to rule. Again, thought up by the good old Greeks, from kakos, bad or evil, though with more than a suggestion of the bowel movement about it that you so rightly suspected. It has been suggested that every government which has ever existed has been a prime example of a kakistocracy. Probably by the same bloke that said that Guy Fawkes was the only man to ever get into Parliament with the right idea …
[All views expressed herein are intended only as humour and belong solely to the author]
Beggars (“The Cripples”): Pieter Brueghel the Elder (1526/1530–1569) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Defenestration of Prague: Matthäus Merian the Elder [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Bees: Bksimonb at the English language Wikipedia [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], from Wikimedia Commons
Duke of Westminster in 1998: By Allan Warren (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons
Sir Edward Grey: Leslie Ward [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Plato & Aristotle: Raphael [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
The Outcast: Richard Redgrave [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsJeremy Hunt: By Culture, Media and Sport Office [OGL (http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/1/)], via Wikimedia Commons
Donald Trump: By Michael Vadon [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons